The Start of the Big Emotional Wrap Up

I've been gone from my internship for a week now, but it feels forever ago.  I also know I promised a wrap up overview thing.  I can't guarantee I can do it in one shot, but I'll start it now.

The first few weeks of my internship, I was not sure I was going to make it.  I had no idea what I was doing, The Doc wasn't around a lot, and I felt like I was a burden to X and Q.  I hated it, I hated not knowing what I what I was doing or what what the procedure was or what the different parts of the fly was.  I had a lot of posts tagged struggle bus or difficult, and it truly was.  And then there was Day 12.  Day 12 was not a good day, no one was in the lab, I had no idea how to get in, and I was too afraid to ask anyone.  I went back to my apartment, saw I had an email from The Doc saying she was out of town and wanted me to do something, and then I had a breakdown on the phone with my mom.  That day I was ready to pack up and leave.  But here's a TMI before I get my monthly burden I tend to get uncharacteristically over-emotional about something irrational/pointless/minor/not exactly important, and the next day guess what I got.  Whether that break down was real or hormonal is a mystery.  I do know I went back in and did what was required of me, and learned how to get in from C.  My internship did not improve until both X and Q were out of the lab on vacation, which is kind of sad to say but true.  I was forced to learn things on my own and figure out fly anatomy on my own.

I came into my own then.  I was pretty boss at

(to be continued because I have other things I have to do)

My Presentation

I can't figure out how to post the video.  And I would figure it out but I'm too tired and my sister is sleeping in my bed and her bed is full of crap and my dad is sleeping on the couch and I don't know where to sleep.  And I should start writing the big review of everything post soon.

Day Sixty-one (late)

I didn't get a chance to write this one in North Carolina, I'm home now and extremely tired.  I was going to post my presentation but it looks like my dad recorded four videos or something and I don't want to deal with it now.  I will post betterer later.

Day Sixty

I had to give my presentation early today.  I had no idea I was doing it, I was told this morning.  I thought it went well.  And tomorrow is my last day and I am so sad.  I sad good bye to Q who will not be here tomorrow.  I wish I could say good bye to X in person but he will get a holler.  I am trying to finish a painting I started for The Doc, I'm having trouble figuring out wing venation.  Also I don't think I'll be able to post tomorrow, I may do one of those queue a post things, but we'll see.  I don't want to go to bed late tonight and I don't want to write another post.  A post tomorrow or Saturday at least.

Day Fifty-nine

Early post today \ (because I'm procrastinating)!  Today has been good, but not as good as my Monday was.  No day will top Monday (because it was awesome).  But today was pleasant enough.  Even better because my crack, Toddlers and Tiaras, is on.  I sorted through stuff we collected from the stairwells, and then spent the rest of the day looking at a bee fly.  I also worked on the paper a bit.  Tomorrow me and The Doc are getting lunch with some of her colleagues, and then Q and a group that has been looking at tardigrades are doing some talks. And what the frick someone just gave their six year old coffee because she was getting tired.  I'm giving my talk on Friday.  If I can get my dad to record it, I might be posting it here at some point.  I really can't believe my last day is the day after tomorrow.  I don't want to go, I love it here so much.  :(

Day Fifty-Eight

I don't feel like writing so I'm just going to post Steam Powered Giraffe songs because they're an amazing band.

Rhianna-Diamonds cover 

Electricity Is In My Soul

Fire Fire (David aka The Spine sings it, I'm in love with his voice and prefer this version of the song) 

Walter Robotics Rap 

And here is the link to their youtube channel, in case you want to listen more: Steam Powered Giraffe's channel :D

Day Fifty-Seven

So I think I said oddly personal Monday yesterday.  So I've been thinking about relationships lately, like dating-type relationships.  I had never cared that I have never been in one, nor had I expressed an super-duper desire to be in one.  Recently though, like as of this summer it kind of made me more aware of the fact I'm single since everyone in my lab (for the most part) is wifed up.

I like using the term wifed up when I think about people in relationships, no matter the gender of the partners (male/male, female/female, male/female, etc.)  That's just want I do so deal.  Also this is gonna be a huge tangent.  So I don't exactly see the point in human relationships long term.  Sort of.  Monogamy is not that common in the animal world, most animals have multiple partners or just one for the breeding season and then changing it up the next.  Multiple partners creates sperm competition, meaning that the best sperm will be the baby daddy.  "Best" offspring and all that jazz.  Which is kind if why I don't understand why people look down on polygamists, at least from a biological stand point.  Usually courtship periods don't last too long either.  That's why people confuse me.  They date for eight years and then get married (and may or may not have kids before then) .  That seems kind of pointless to me.  Why not get married sooner?  Like dating for eight years is basically married?  And how long do you have to be with someone to know that they're the one?  A week? A month?  A year?  Ten years?  That's what I don't get.

So anyway I kind of want to be in a relationship, just for the experience.  I'm slightly jealous of some people around me (the HBB sister, my sister) who have boyses in their life.  I just want one, and then if it doesn't work out then I really don't need to be in another for awhile I think.

Sunday Sunday Sunday

I spent Saturday night watch HBB (Honey boo boo) and her family.  This family melts my heart.  They love each other so much, and care.  The most touching part of one of the episodes was Sugar Bear proposing to Mama.  He was so obviously nervous and scared (he had been denied thrice before) and he was just trying to present the best argument.  Besides finding Mama really attractive and loving her a lot, Sugar wanted to marry her to give the girls some stability (Alana is his daughter but her sisters aren't) and a strong father figure.  I was pissed that Mama was not taking it as seriously as Sugar who was wearing his funeral shirt.  In the end, Mama agreed to a commitment ceremony (she's afraid of marriage, Sugar's been married twice before and her family has been through divorce, plus she's never been married before) but she was been calling it a wedding.  I'm glad for them.  Sugar loves Mama so much, and even when Mama shuts down his advances, he comes back stronger.  I know a lot of people think that the show is horrible and the family is trash and bla bla bla.  But honestly, they're a kick ass family.  Sure, they have a different life style but they love, support, and enjoy each other's company.  They're probably a lot better than a lot of families today.  I love them because they're so...organic.  Nothing feels forced or staged, and how they are on TV feels like that's how they are in real life.  I think Monday may be a weirdly personal Monday if I don't have a lot to say.  

Day Fifty-five

So I'm not sure what posting is going to be like this week.  Since my housing ends today, and my dad is working in the area, I'll be staying at his hotel this week.  I don't know the wifi situation, if it is pay for wifi...I'll try to do some short posts while I'm at work during my lunch break or before I leave or if I get to work early.  Any way, I'm pretty much packed up.  I have a bunch of stuff on my bed that needs to end up in a bag or something, and there is some trash to be taken out, but other than that, my dad just needs to get here before four.  I guess I'll finish getting my stuff together before my dad gets here, hopefully there will be a post tomorrow (I probably could just do an automated post thing but we'll see).

Day Fifty-four

So X wasn't in today, apparently he is sick.  And since he goes on vacation next week, I never got a chance to say good bye in person. :( Unless he doesn't go on vacation next week, which I doubt.  I can still get in contact with him, but still I'd prefer to say goodbye in person.  I might have found another potentially interesting thing but it is too early to tell.  I also forgot what I was going to say here.  I went out with The Doc and some other scientists and that was fun.  I really need to begin packing more since my dad is coming tomorrow at four.  Side note, sometimes I wish my head would not concoct elaborate alternate realities of what could happen based on events that happened in real life (hopefully this makes sense).  I guess I'm off to do dishes or pack or watch Scrubs clips.  Probably the last one.

Day Fifty-three

Right now I am eating peaches and knock off cool whip.  All my clothes are packed, and the next challenge will be my desk.  I move out Saturday and will stay in a hotel for a week with my dad while he's working.  And then next weekend I leave. :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((  I can't believe that my time here is ending, I'm going to miss it so much.  I finished my presentation, so I guess I'll memorize it (I already kind of have it down) and practice the powerpoint.  The paper is at a stand still atm, so there is not much else I can do.  There is a vial of Malagasy bee flies that I really want to go through, even though I have an idea of what's in it.  X hasn't been here for the past two days, and I think he's going on vacation next week.  I hope he'll be here tomorrow so I can say good bye to him.  That's it for here for now.

Day Fifty-two (laaaate)

I forgot to post, my bad.  Day was normal, worked on paper/presentation.  Finished the art thing I was working on.  I'll be sure to post tonight.